Cutting Loose: On Extracting Myself From Corporate Retail

Since my last post, there have been some new and happier changes in my life. Of course, I was upset about getting fired. But surprisingly, I managed to find a new job within less than two weeks. Before I applied for the new job, I put a lot of thought into my schedule and how I wanted to spend my time. I had discussed it with Sam and my mother, one of the smartest and most rational people I know. Should I remain unemployed, struggling financially, while I go through another wave of cover letters and resumes? Or should I just jump in and get another part-time job?

On a whim, I applied to a clothing and home store that I had always really liked. The handful of times I had shopped there in the past, I had come away feeling like the employees were friendly and the atmosphere was fun. Within an hour of hitting submit on my resume, the owner of the store called me. A few days later, I went in for an interview and got the job. Two months later, I'll admit that although it's been a whirlwind, I really enjoy it.
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There's a satisfaction about working for a small business that you just don't get out of working at a big corporation. Sure, a bigger store is more organized and has more money to spend, but with so many employees, you're much more expendable and are therefore treated less human. A smaller store may mean more hours, but frankly, I need the money. I also like being treated like I'm allowed to have a life, not like a machine, forced to grind out as many hours as I can and allow myself to be treated badly by rude customers.

Working a retail job was always meant to be a side job for me until I got "on my path." But several internships later, I'm still working in retail. It's depressing and tiring, but not fruitless. I've learned how to deal with all sorts of people, I've gained some idea of good design and project management skills. But I'm getting too old to give up on my passion and ideals. What makes me happy.

At a suggestion from a close friend, I applied for a communications internship at the local animal shelter. I interviewed with the Director of the Communications department and within a few days, she got back to me. I had gotten the internship. I knew it was unpaid, but it seemed like a step in the right direction. At least I would be using my degree to some extent.

Now that I had accepted this internship, I was faced with a dilemma. Although I was only required to work at the internship one day, I couldn't imagine juggling two part-time jobs and an internship. Should I quit one of my jobs or split up my days as evenly as I could? If I did the latter, I could probably kiss the idea of a day off goodbye. The problem with working two jobs is that if you're not there, the employers assume you're slacking or having fun, instead of actually working, which translates to the idea that you're not a devoted employee.

However, if I quit one of my jobs, I would have to budget and make sure I could pay my bills. I've never been good with money. I spend it when I get it and hardly save. Would I be able to live off one job? On the plus side, one job would mean I could put in more hours to the internship, which might make me stand out. But still, I wondered, could I do it?

I weighed my options. I made a pro/con list. I really sat and thought. I think part of the reason I was dragging my heels was that I had been working at my corporate retail job for a little over three years. I never loved it, but I liked it. It was never supposed to be a career. I had been promoted once. In three years, most employees there had been promoted to a manager or moved on. I hadn't done either. It was something that I had gotten used to complaining about, but it was safe. Maybe it was time for me to move on?
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Finally, after some thinking and a lot of procrastinating, I gave notice at the big store. I was incredibly nervous, but my store manager was really understanding. I said that it was hard for me to juggle two jobs and that I didn't think I was the right fit there anymore. I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision. I worried I had made a big mistake. But deep down, my gut reaction was that this was right. I felt relieved. I just wasn't every going to be the kind of person who could fit into the 'sell, sell, sell' mentality. And that's ok. Whatever happens, I know I've taken a step forward and that's all that counts.