The Worst First: Getting Fired and Getting Over It

​Rejection is inevitable, unavoidable and pretty unbearable. I've experienced all kinds of rejection- breakups, jobs and even friend breakups. But the one type I've never experienced is the rejection of being fired. I've left many jobs, but I've never been fired from a job in my entire life. Last week, I was fired from one of my two retail jobs. Not only that- my manager fired me over text message.

I won't go into the exact details, but I will say that the way the store was being run was a much different organizational style than my own. I often got texts the day off, asking if I could work, which I always accepted since I:

a) needed the money and
b) wanted them to think I was a good employee

This happened several times.  Once, my manager texted me asking if I could come in within the next half hour. The way I was continuously asked last minute if I could work annoyed me because it was disrespectful of my time and it threw my whole day off. I couldn't always make plans or get as many personal goals done. Goals I was trying to complete to advance my career.

I gave this store a lot of my time. I made myself more available to them than to my other job. In the past month, I will admit I had been busy working at art festival one weekend, going to NY another weekend (to return my family dogs who I was pet sitting) and then a last minute 5-day vacation to North Carolina with my boyfriend's parents.

Before I left, I had decided to take a week off the next month to see my parents in NY. I picked a random week and told my manager. The second to last day of my vacation in North Carolina, I hadn't received my new schedule. I texted my manager and the owner of the store. The owner promised the manager would send it to me. The next morning I still hadn't received it. It wasn't until I in the car on the way back from North Carolina that the manager told me the only week they had needed me was the week I asked off. She said as things came up, she would let me know when they could use me. I was confused why they hadn't mentioned this when I asked off originally. It seemed like a passive aggressive, evasive way of doing things. I offered to move my vacation so that I could make myself available for them. This was all over text message. Her next response was to fire me.

She said, "India, based on your performance and availability we have decide to move in a new direction. We appreciate your time and effort and wish you the best of luck with your future. Please turn in your keys to me at your early convenience. Thank you again for your time here."

I was stunned. This felt like it had come out of nowhere. I didn't think I had done anything particularly wrong. In fact, I knew I hadn't. Many times, when my manager and I were both working, I would be the one talking to customers and she was busy on her cellphone, doing who-knows-what. I knew I was a hard worker. I texted her back and told her how unexpected this was. I went on to explain how I wish she had given me a warning because I was always looking to improve and would worked to fix my mistakes. She told me that they had already made this decision and that I was a great person, she was sorry to have to do this over text.
If I'm being honest, I wasn't upset to lose the job. Working in retail didn't make me truly happy. I had only stayed with this job because the pay was good. I didn't get along with the manager, she wasn't my type of person at all. I was upset because I had received no warning whatsoever. I've been working in retail long enough to know that even if I wasn't born to sell clothing, I could work hard to do a good job. We arranged a meeting to hand in my keys and talk.

I knew that going into this meeting was going to be hard for me. I'm the type of person who hates controversy. Standing up for myself has been an uphill battle over the years. I knew that I was going to get emotional. I turned to a family member, my cousin Terra, who works in HR and started out working at Target. She hires and fires people all the time. She told me that it was okay to get emotional. It wasn't something I should be embarrassed or worried about. What my manager had done was completely unprofessional and disrespectful. She told me to explain that I wished I had been given a warning while I was still employed, rather than on the actual day of my firing. She also told me to ask if I could give feedback and tell my manager that next time, it would be more human and respectful to fire someone over the phone at least, if not in person. Talking to Terra helped clear my head a lot. It made me realize that, no, I hadn't done anything wrong and that the manager had gone about this completely the wrong way.
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When I met with my manager, I was very nervous and uncomfortable. I felt shaky and nauseous. I could tell as soon as I walked in that she was uncomfortable too. I got emotional, despite trying to be completely neutral. I just couldn't stop my voice from shaking and my eyes from tearing up. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop it. But, I accepted that this was okay, it was normal. I came away, not sure if the firing had been the owner's decision or the manager's. Maybe a bit of both. Either way, I understood that next time, if a job wasn't managing me the way I liked, I would speak up. If I wasn't hearing feedback about my performance, I would ask.  I know I am going to have a lot of different jobs. They might be in my dream field or they might be in a completely different one. But I am going to be prepared because I never wanted to be caught off guard like that again.